On the Bright Side

After this weekend of feeling like a complete failure in my personal goals. I realized there really is a bright side to everything. While I may not feel like I am anywhere close to my physical goals I have so much going on in my life that is good. I think that we as women tend to get tunnel vision and lose focus on our lives. We can be so focused on the one aspect of improving ourselves and our body that we sometimes forget to sit back and appreciate the good things.

For me these moments tend to be small things that make my heart feel full. For example I am supposed to be doing homework right now but I had to stop to write because I overheard my husband helping my son with his homework. It is the cutest thing to hear my 5 year old yelling out his letters they are learning that week in school. I can just imagine him sitting next to his dad and reading the little story. I'm not jealous that they get that time. I'm grateful. I'm grateful that I have such a kind man in my life that wants to be a part of helping with the kids school work. He wants to spend time with each of our children to make sure that they always know he cares. Yesterday I lost sight of those moments and threw myself an all day pity party. I literally stayed in my pjs all day, hung out with my kids a little bit, and ended up having a few drinks with my husband as we watched the pitiful presidential debate. I was feeling so sorry for myself because I stepped on the stupid scale knowing all to well that it would validate just how bad I did this weekend. It crushed my spirit to see I was back to 179lbs. And that's just it, I let my own personal issues consume me and my whole day. I missed out on those sweet moments because I was wallowing in my own sadness and frustration. I was in my bed most of the day reading. My kids spent hours on the IPad and we rushed to finish school stuff. I wasn't even really present when my son read the new book he got for the week. Just thinking about it makes me feel bad. It makes me feel bad that I shut myself off to my family because I was depressed about weight and stupid body images. They really are stupid. I hate that body image is even an issue. And it's a big issue. Everywhere I look there are ads for getting in shape or products that are supposed to help you lose weight. On days like yesterday those kind of ads fed my sadness and frustration. I hate it!

However, on the bright side,  I got up this morning and forced myself to go to the gym. I forced myself to stop the pity party and to try and look at the bright side. I have a wonderful family that loves me so much. My daughter loves spending all her time with me and my son always tells me how much he loves me. My husband is so supportive and understanding when I have worthless days like yesterday. I have friends who are always texting me encouraging me and checking on me. How can I continue to worry about myself when I have so much to appreciate. I need to figure a way to use the bright side of my life for motivation. Because it's all too easy to sit here and criticize myself  and my flaws. Sinking back in to my state of depression. I think instead of looking at myself and thinking about all the flaws I see, the goal this week will be to look in the mirror every day and compliment one part of my body. I've read somewhere that's supposed to help build confidence. So why not, let's try it. For the next 5 days, compliment one part of your body as you look at yourself in the mirror. And no criticism! This week will be about building myself up so there will hopefully be no more slump days like yesterday. (Fingers crossed)