Now being a mom I know that I am no where perfect and we all have our bad days. It's not something I know is talked about a lot because most women want to come off as the perfect mom who can do no wrong. But I feel my bad day lead to something great, something I could really learn from. The past week I had an absolutely terrible day as a mom. That day is now categorized under shit days forever. I don't know why but I was really struggling. Not the normal day to day frustration but the type of day where even one small whine sends a desire of rage straight through my body. It's something I just can't explain and that day I had to put myself in time out...yes you read correct, I put me in timeout three times. I needed to for my sanity and to show my children that even though they were driving me crazy it was necessary for me to step away from the situation. Funny how even on my bad days I'm trying to teach my children a lesson about the bigger picture. I had one bad moment where I lost control and yelled loud over nothing. I won't elaborate just how bad I was freaking out but it wasn't pretty. In the heat of the moment I saw my children's eyes. I saw the sadness that was there...the sadness I created because they knew I wasn't happy with them. They seek my approval so much at this young age and here I was crushing it. In that moment I told myself I had to get over whatever frustration was struggling to seep out of every pore in my body and get back my control. Sounds drastic but that's how bad I saw it. Almost like the moment Boo from Monsters Inc saw Sully being the ""scary" monster (see I really am a mom, the only reference I could think of was from a Disney movie). The fear in my children's eyes reflected that surprise and fear. And needless to say I felt awful! I took my son and daughter and gave them each a hug and apologized for being a bad example and being so mean. I told them how much I loved that and that I was so grateful they still loved me even on my bad days. My son returned the hug and said, "Mom I love you with all my heart even on bad days." His level of compassion and forgiveness was a beautiful moment for me and one I will always cherish. Being a mom I know I put so much pressure on myself to live what I teach and how I want my children to be. And on my worst day they turned around and showed me that I might not be doing such a bad job after all...at least not in their eyes. I am so grateful for my children and becoming a mom has changed me in more ways that I can count. It is my favorite job and I'm so glad that despite the horrible, bad, and real day that I had as a mother my children were there to turn it all around and be my light once again.
I look at this quote all the time and realized on that bad day the reason I was struggling was because I was trying to put myself first. My children were doing what ever they could to get my attention but I was too preoccupied with trying to get everything I needed to done to see what they truly needed. Once I took a break and sat with them and gave them the positive attention they were seeking, the fighting stopped, the whining stopped, and the crying stopped. I was too blinded to see my children that day and I'm grateful for their forgiveness that opened my eyes to see them and what they needed. Our bad day ended up being a great day after all.
"Enjoy each day for you will never have this day with your children again...it will be over before you know it."
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