My Bad Day as a Mom

I figured since it's Mother's Day, I can share some of my personal feelings about being a mom. Being a mom is the best job I've had. There are so many wonderful moments each day. And I am always smiling and taking a moment to soak it all in just how lucky I am to be a mother. My children are my world and they truly make me feel like I'm on crazy pills. One moment I'll be laughing and smiling the next I'm beyond frustrated and sending them to time out. But I love it so much the bad moments are over shadowed by all the great moments.

Now being a mom I know that I am no where perfect and we all have our bad days. It's not something I know is talked about a lot because most women want to come off as the perfect mom who can do no wrong. But I feel my bad day lead to something great, something I could really learn from. The past week I had an absolutely terrible day as a mom. That day is now categorized under shit days forever. I don't know why but I was really struggling. Not the normal day to day frustration but the type of day where even one small whine sends a desire of rage straight through my body. It's something I just can't explain and that day I had to put myself in time out...yes you read correct, I put me in timeout three times. I needed to for my sanity and to show my children that even though they were driving me crazy it was necessary for me to step away from the situation. Funny how even on my bad days I'm trying to teach my children a lesson about the bigger picture. I had one bad moment where I lost control and yelled loud over nothing. I won't elaborate just how bad I was freaking out but it wasn't pretty. In the heat of the moment I saw my children's eyes. I saw the sadness that was there...the sadness I created because they knew I wasn't happy with them. They seek my approval so much at this young age and here I was crushing it. In that moment I told myself I had to get over whatever frustration was struggling to seep out of every pore in my body and get back my control. Sounds drastic but that's how bad I saw it. Almost like the moment Boo from Monsters Inc saw Sully being the ""scary" monster (see I really am a mom, the only reference I could think of was from a Disney movie). The fear in my children's eyes reflected that surprise and fear. And needless to say I felt awful! I took my son and daughter and gave them each a hug and apologized for being a bad example and being so mean. I told them how much I loved that and that I was so grateful they still loved me even on my bad days. My son returned the hug and said, "Mom I love you with all my heart even on bad days." His level of compassion and forgiveness was a beautiful moment for me and one I will always cherish. Being a mom I know I put so much pressure on myself to live what I teach and how I want my children to be. And on my worst day they turned around and showed me that I might not be doing such a bad job after all...at least not in their eyes. I am so grateful for my children and becoming a mom has changed me in more ways that I can count. It is my favorite job and I'm so glad that despite the horrible, bad, and real day that I had as a mother my children were there to turn it all around and be my light once again.

I look at this quote all the time and realized on that bad day the reason I was struggling was because I was trying to put myself first. My children were doing what ever they could to get my attention but I was too preoccupied with trying to get everything I needed to done to see what they truly needed. Once I took a break and sat with them and gave them the positive attention they were seeking, the fighting stopped, the whining stopped, and the crying stopped. I was too blinded to see my children that day and I'm grateful for their forgiveness that opened my eyes to see them and what they needed. Our bad day ended up being a great day after all. 

"Enjoy each day for you will never have this day with your children again...it will be over before you know it." 

Finding the Balance

The past couple of months I have really been learning to balance my weight loss goals with my happiness. It's been a real challenge trying not to fall back into the bad habits of insulting myself every time I look in the mirror or feel guilty as I eat the delicious pizza. Or thinking about how hard I have to workout just to enjoy that piece of pizza. I feel like I am finally leaning in the right direction. I have been giving myself the benefit of the doubt. I don't eat "clean" like most health nuts but I do make good choices when I make my food. I have cut back A LOT on eating out and I enjoy making healthier foods at home. The problem with finding this balance is that it's so easy to get swept right back into the old mental habits I've done for so long. It's even harder when everyone around me is doing the same. Insulting their bodies, feeling guilty for splurging and enjoying the "bad" foods. There are some days where I have to tune the people out. I ignore what they have to say because I don't want to start doubting myself and how I feel about myself. And I know we are supposed to encourage each other but there are days where I feel like if I sympathize with people in regards to how they're feeling I'm enabling their bad habits to continue.

One of the many good thing to come out of this transition is that now instead of feeling guilty about what I eat I feel guilty when I talk bad about myself. Whether I'm talking to a friend or to myself as I pass by a mirror. By doing that it makes me a hypocrite and takes me farther away from moving forward. Besides I know deep down inside I'm fishing for compliments. When in reality I should be the one giving myself the compliments. Not to create a cocky sense of self worth but to create a confident and accepting sense of self worth. Other people's opinions aren't what matter when it comes to my body and how I feel, my opinion is the only one that should count. Unfortunately finding that happiness part of the balance is by far the hardest. But I'm working on not only changing my body to where I feel the most comfortable and happy. But I'm also changing the way I think about my body and different ideas on what happiness is. Thankfully I am part of a great Facebook group that inspire women to find the balance and to find the joy along the way. It's been a huge help having that positive influence and has really made a difference in how I am going about accomplishing my goals.

I'm far from where I need to be and am frustrated I'm not progressing as fast as I want with my weight loss goals. But I now that I'm working on it the right way and I'm keeping myself healthy and in good shape. And in the long run what is your ultimate goal anyway for wanting to lose weight?Mine is to be comfortable in my clothes and to be an example for
my children that being fit allows me to participate in so many fun activities and will hopefully keep me healthy so I can live a long time.  

Fun Outdoor Tabata Workout

I have been stepping my game up recently to get prepared for the Spartan Race my husband and I are doing at the end of June. Recently I injured my knee some how so I was looking for ways to still get a good cardio workout that will build my endurance. I asked my dad who is a certified personal trainer and he suggested Tabata workouts. Last week I did 3 and I loved it. What I've been doing is 10-11 different workouts in a row 4 times and then I rest for 2-3 minutes and go back and do another 4 workouts 4 times. The workout listed above was modified first because I suck at pull ups and second I wanted a good ab workout.  I did run slow 1 mile as my warm up and made sure I stretched properly. And I did take longer breaks when needed, especially when I felt my knee was starting to hurt. Always pay attention to your body so you can help minimize the risk of serious injury.

So for the workout above what I used was:

1 Large Tire
1 Large ball
1 60lb sand bag (got mine at home depot for $5)
2 10lb weights
1 20lb kettlebell
Gloves because I don't like touching spiders

The first round of Tabata included: (repeat 4x)

Push-ups
Burpees
Kettlebell squats
Incline Shoulder Press (This is where I used the ball to create an incline bench)
Bicep Curls
Toe Squats-not sure the real name but go up on your toes and go into a deep squat then lift up and onto your toes.
Russian Twists (Abs)
Sand bag carry (walked around at a fast pace...will work up to running with it)
Tire flip
Plank
Lunge Jump Switch

Rest 2-4 mins

Second Round of Tabata (Repeat 4x)

Quick alternating step touches
Plank while lowering one side of hip to the ground then switching
jumping jacks
Spartan bear crawl

It was definitely a challenge but it was fun. And best part was it didn't feel like a 30 minutes work out!

I loved it so much I can't wait to try it again...maybe next time I create a whole new workout.

YouTube Review: 1000 Calorie HIIT Workout

This will be the first of many youtube reviews of workouts I find online. I am too cheap to get a gym membership and I get bored with the same routine. I have done the Insanity workouts numerous times and I am venturing out trying to keep me entertained while getting into shape at the same time.

Review 1:

Today I bumped into a workout that claims to burn about 1000 calories in one hour. I was skeptical at first so I figured lets try it out and see just how challenging this really is. I have never done any of Christine Salus's workouts until today. But what I liked most about this workout was that there was no equipment needed to complete this routine.  All you need is a chair and a kettlebell if you wanted to use weights. I used a 10lb kettlebell to start with and then switched to 20lbs when I knew what kind of exercises I was doing. I didn't want to start big and be too tired to finish the video.

To begin I warmed up with a 400m jog on the treadmill and a few stretches to make sure I was nice and warm before this hour long workout. Another great thing I liked about this workout is that it is an interval workout. So the first 20 minute interval she has you doing 40 secs of workout and 15 secs of high knees. Which was great because it made the first 20 minutes go by quickly and it was challenging but not unrealistic.  The next 20 minutes were strength training and a welcome break from the cardio circuits. Then the last 20 minutes were a repeat of the first 20 minute interval. Now that was a challenge to get through the last 20 minutes. I almost quit at that point but I did rest when I needed and kept going. Even if I had decided to stop after the second 20 minute interval I wouldn't have felt bad about it because that would have been a great 40 minute workout. Which is nice I like knowing that I can still get a good workout with having to feel guilty if I cut the time short.

This video reminded me of an insanity workout on steroids, only because of the strength training mixed in with it. And it was nice to see her struggling as well to complete some of the more challenging intervals. The only thing I didn't like was there was no music in her video so I made sure I had my own. But I feel like she kept her word and by the end of the video because I'm sure I burned approximately 1000 calories. I was sweating so much I needed to grab a towel. I'll be drinking lots and lots of water today trying to keep myself hydrated.  I definitely enjoyed the challenge. About halfway through my legs were burning. Even 45 minutes after the workout my arms are still feeling weak and my legs are still burning. I enjoyed this challenge and will be trying more of her videos and I will also be doing this one again. I know it will help me reach my goal.

Star Rating:

4 out of 5

12 Week Weight Loss Challenge #200ktransform- Day1

Today is the start of a 12 week weight loss challenge on bodybuilding.com, I did it because I'm literally so fed up with being in yoga pants and dreading the thought of getting in "real" clothes. There's no going back for me, I am motivated and determined to have one of the best WOW pictures for this 12 week. I'm going to post my pictures from yesterday so everyone can see the progress of my transformation. I will also be posting reviews on youtube videos I use to help me along the way.

Here are my pictures, I'm posting them so I can put it out there that there are real women out there looking to make a change to their body. Instead of those women who are already skinny and want to do a 12 week transformation which is in comparison for people like me trying to fit into prebaby jeans 2 weeks after delivery, it's not a realistic goal. This time I've got a realistic goal in mind and I want or hope to inspire other women to push themselves to make the changes they want. I'm not looking to get ripped but I do want to feel good about myself in this bikini and at the moment I would feel very self conscious wearing this out in public. That is my goal! And I know that I can achieve it, whether that be in 12 weeks or in 24 weeks. I'll keep pushing myself until I get there. Good luck to the rest of you looking to make changes in your life.